Worst Essays Funny

Worst Essays Funny-63
She earned an MBA from the Rutgers School of Business in 2010.

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ORIGINAL POST: I have to share these “funniest analogies” with you. She got them from a cousin, who got them from a friend, who got them from… Some of these kids may have bright futures as humor writers.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

Writing an "un-essay." Many students, particularly some of the brightest ones, have a negative reaction to the strictures of the admission essay.

In response, Robinson says, "They want to write in stream-of-consciousness or be sarcastic, and I totally understand this reaction. Do not write about drug use, drinking and driving, arrests or jail time. The problem with these topics is not that they are depressing, but that such powerful topics can be challenging to write about.

That should tell you pretty much all you need to know.

They’re literally breathing down my neck as we speak. A few have said that these analogies were actually taken from other sources and were not written by high school kids at all. These analogies are the winning entries in a 1999 Washington Post humor contest, and there are more than 25. Please look at the comments sent August 3, 2008 by “Jiffer” to get to the complete list and the names of the authors. The e-mail says they are taken from actual high school essays and collected by English teachers across the country for their own amusement. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. You would be amazed at the things that get written in admissions essays-even to top schools.About the Author: Laura Morrison is the Web Content Manager for Grad The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. Often times, it is the only way a student can get his or her voice heard.The application itself provides the biographical information: class rank, SAT scores, class choices, and community service.I asked Janine Robinson, who is the creator of a wonderful website called Essay Hell and the author of an excellent ebook entitled "Escape Essay Hell," to identify those essay topics that teenagers should absolutely avoid. You definitely don't want to write about your winning team. If you are one of the lucky teenagers who has grown up in an affluent household, with all the perks that goes with it, no need to share that with college admission officials.And nobody wants to read about your losing team, either. "The last thing anyone wants to read about is your ski trip to Aspen or your hot oil massage at a fancy resort," Robinson observed.4.


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