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You need to research your audience and find out what they value. Say Nike offers a scholarship to the winner of an essay contest: You can see that Response #1 does a good job of answering the prompt, but doesn’t really relate directly to Nike. Some scholarships have rules that won’t allow you to talk to anyone on the scholarship committee.
Nike is an athletic company with the motto “Just do it.” They encourage their customers to push their limits in the athletic world. If this is the case, skip this step and just talk to someone within the organization that helps you get a better idea of the company’s mission and values. If you do get a hold of someone, here are some important steps to follow: Conversational hooks are words or phrases said in a conversation that allows you to expand on the other person’s interest, providing a more in-depth conversation that builds rapport and trust.
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Overcoming a fear (heights) that is central to who you are through a challenging sport (rock climbing) is something that directly relates to Nike’s values. If you listened for those conversational hooks you will be able to expand that conversation further in several directions.
Try and hit as many conversational hooks with your response so it allows them several responses! I actually am on the track and field team in my high school.