Essays Competition Success Review

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State: Maryland, USA High School: Public school, 450 students in graduating class Ethnicity: Black, African American Gender: Female GPA: 3.94 out of 4.0 SAT: Reading 750, Math 770, Writing 800 ACT: n/a SAT Subject Tests Taken: Mathematics Level 2, Biology E/M, U. History Extracurriculars: Shakespeare Club president/director, French Club president, literary magazine editor in chief, newspaper creative writing editor, preprofessional musical theater program outside of school Awards: Second place Poetry Out Loud competition, two honorable mentions in Scholastic Art and Writing awards, AP Scholar with Distinction Major: Philosophy Sponsored by The Brain Domain: A Houston-based academic preparation business with glowing feedback and global operations, The Brain Domain features college counseling, test preparation, and one-on-one tutoring tailored to students’ unique learning styles.

ESSAY “Black Eyeliner Does Not Make You a Non-Conformist” Several years ago, my mother told me I listen to “white people music.” And I suppose that’s true—rock ‘n’ roll tends to spring from the middle-class basements of young, white men. I wasted so much energy on being different that I lost track of what actually made me happy.

Indeed, not only does this essay document Bobby’s development from child to young adult, but Bobby’s art also matures from something orderly and superficial to something abstract and deeply meaningful.

What separates Bobby’s essay from a well-written story, however, is the subtextual narrative it provides the reader.

One such example is “the whiteness of the background” on his sketchbook being “meticulously preserved” but yet “marred by the frenzied strokes of my instructor's charcoal.” Nevertheless, imagery alone does not provide the concrete, powerful narrative found in Bobby’s essay.

One of the most powerful appeals of the essay is that it represents a coming-of-age story that echoes the Bildungsroman literary sub-genre, in which characters evolve psychologically from youth to adulthood during the story.Just as Bobby the new artist’s “lines began to unabashedly disregard the rules of depth or tonality,” so too did art slowly—from the playful light of Monet’s Impressionism, to the square faces of Picasso’s Cubism and the complete abstraction of Pollock’s expressionism—care less and less about how realistic it was and more about the message it conveyed.In Bobby’s words, “It was the difference between drawing a man's face and using abstraction to explore his soul.” Disclaimer: With exception of the removal of identifying details, essays are reproduced as originally submitted in applications; any errors in submissions are maintained to preserve the integrity of the piece.It is first utilized to bring the reader into the piece and make the introduction pop, with “Late evening rays [...] casting a gentle glow” and “the soft luminescence of the art studio” becoming “a fluorescent glare.” Immediately, the reader knows what the essay will generally be about: art.Still, in the beginning of the essay, a lot of information is left out, leaving the reader begging for details to contextualize the mental images Bobby leaves them.State: California, USA High School: Private boarding school, 100 students in graduating class Ethnicity: Asian Gender: Male GPA: 4.0 out of 4.0 SAT: Reading 750, Math 750, Writing 800 ACT: n/a SAT Subject Tests Taken: Mathematics Level 2, Biology E/M, Literature Extracurriculars: Nonprofit director, Editor-in-Chief of student newspaper, Senior Editor of literary magazine, Art Prefect, varsity baseball player Awards: Williams Book Prize, National Merit Scholar, AP Scholar with Distinction, Scholastic Art and Writing Regional Gold Key Major: Government : A Houston-based academic preparation business with glowing feedback and global operations, The Brain Domain features college counseling, test preparation, and one-on-one tutoring tailored to students’ unique learning styles. Those few openings in between the tapestry of art were dotted with grubby little handprints, repurposed by some overzealous young artist as another surface for creative expression.ESSAY Bold white rafters ran overhead, bearing upon their great iron shoulders the weight of the skylight above. In the middle of the room lay two long tables, each covered with newspaper, upon which were scattered dried-up markers and lost erasers and bins of unwanted colored pencils. The older artists—myself included—sat around these tables with easels, in whatever space the limited confines of the studio allowed.Though I did point out that its origins trace back to jazz musicians of the Harlem Renaissance. I insisted I didn’t care what people thought of me, which was true.Also that one of the greatest guitarists of all time—dear Mr. My devotion to punk rock began in seventh grade, when Green Day’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” came up on my i Tunes shuffle. Yet if I base my actions almost solely on their behavior, how could I deny their influence?Apart from surface manifestations altogether, this realm was simultaneously one of austere simplicity and aesthetic intricacy, of departure from realism and immersion in reality, of intense emotion and uninhibited expression.It was the realm of lines that could tell stories, of colors and figures that meant nothing and everything.

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